Blood and Beauty by Ila Railkar

Tiny feet pattered

Veiled whispers and steady glances graced me

Inside the mighty walls once again

Garlanding me: Hail Helen, Jewel of Sparta

Of all those bewitched, dazzled, struck dumb

Brave Menelaus I chose, as gentle as he was courageous

And ruled with him for years ten

The pride and glory of Sparta

In Troy, lips at my ear, he whispered Aphrodite’s promise

I have wondered for years if I could still blame her

For the affection and love I came to feel for Paris

I blush. I do not yet know.

Did I go with Paris of my own will?

Did I torture the Greeks inside the horse?

Did I sing and dance when Troy fell at last?

I’m not sure what I did either. Has it ever mattered?

Ten years later the Trojans and Greeks

Who had once cherished and anointed me—the glory of Sparta, the splendor of Troy

Now join hands with each other

To stone me to death, their scandal and shame

My beauty attracted Theseus’s lust

My beauty maddened the just Paris

My beauty let loose rivers of blood

I unclasp the front of my robe. Let my beauty then make flowers of stones.

Let it save me for once.

Bio

Ila Railkar (she/her) is a queer Indian poet. She often writes on feminism, identity, belonging, and history. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Calla Press, Rigorous, Thimble Lit, Blue River Review, EKL Review, and elsewhere.

Author's note

"Blood and Beauty" is inspired by the many contrasting, and at times, downright improbable legends surrounding Helen of Troy. So numerous are the various anecdotes and occurrences attributed to her, many of them rather scathing, that what she actually did remains shrouded in darkness. Myths and fairytales all too often share this fate. However, more often than not, they have a kernel of truth. A version of Helen's tale by Stesichorus particularly interested me in that he describes the stones harmlessly falling from the hands of the soldiers gathered to stone her on seeing her bare body. While Helen's uncommon beauty has always been praised or condemned, for the first time, I pictured a defiant Helen who wishes to live at all costs, one who despite all the betrayals and insults, tries to take charge of her own life.