Pandora's Pantry by Allen Ashley

Don’t go dissing my kitchen on Trustpilot.

I can only cook from the ingredients I can lay my gentle

hands on. Lockdowns and panic-buying certainly haven’t

helped; though, even now, most of what I use is locally

sourced, ethically procured. Box-fresh.

You say my recipes are too indulgent, full

of all the unhealthy stuff, full

of all the tasty and enjoyable stuff. My grandmother

Eve offered the sweetest apple—or was it a fig

or some other fruit?—and men’s teeth

have been decaying ever since. Don’t forget her feller

had a chance to refuse the gift.

I’ve decorated some of the cakes with mottos.

You’ll like them: Live frugally,

be at one with the Earth. Don’t

start a fire you can’t put out.

Life is not a box of chocolates, but epicurean delicacies

help us cope with what existence throws at us. At the bottom

of my spice cupboard is hope. Oh by the immortals,

it’s a bittersweet thing! Just enough to keep your belly

from feeling too empty but never enough

to satisfy on its own.